To the Mama without Hope for the New Year

         Winter time can be so drab for the stay at home mother with little children.  She starts the day with a list of chores but it seems that she spends more time entertaining her bored kids than getting anything done.  She stays up late on Pinterest trying to find some new ideas that might keep them preoccupied tomorrow.  It's too cold and wet for them to go outside, at least not for very long and it takes her longer to get the little ones bundled up than they actually stay out and play.  There is extra laundry from the kids getting wet in the snow and she has to keep the boots rotated around the heater to get them dry for tomorrow.   She cooks hot meals and plenty of soup and hot chocolate.  Then stares at the stacks of dirty cups and bowls and wonders why she didn't just fix sandwiches.  She hasn't seen her friends in a couple weeks 'cause everyone is on a rotation for having sick kids.  She teaches her toddlers to sing "Jesus Loves Me" and feels good about herself as a mom for a moment but then like a failure when bath time ends in tears for both her and the child.  As a Christian she feels like she should be caring for her home and kids with a smile and joy and should have a tidy and welcoming house all the time.  But it's not and she's not, why can't she do it right?  What can she do to find peace with herself, peace in the home, contentment and a better mood, and get everything done that needs to be done?

         I heard from someone once that we just need to focus on the essentials for life.  We need food, water, clothing and shelter to live.  As long as those bases are covered then tell yourself you are doing fine as a mom.  But I just couldn't find complete comfort in that.  I could feed my kids junk food and have them wearing dirty clothes - and by that definition be fine.  But that doesn't even mention the spiritual side or education.  I was behind in teaching the ABC's, cause the neighbors kid already knew them and I hadn't even started with teaching Bible verses when that little kid on Facebook new 20!  By now I hope you can see that I had a comparison and perfection problem, but it drove me to look to the Bible for what God considers essential to life.
           There have been many passages that have helped me with this but the first being the passage in Luke 10:38-42. The account of Jesus going to Martha's house for lunch.  He commends Mary for being at His feet and rebukes Martha of her many fussings.  I puzzled over this account for a long time because I always heard people say, "He's telling Martha she needs to not worry about making things fancy but to just serve a simple meal and calm down!"  But when I read it I just felt that there was more to it than that.  So I began to dig, look up definitions of the Greek words  that were originally used and think about the whole story and how it was written in order to figure out what was the intended message that the author was trying to communicate.  These are the things I noticed.  The passage reads that Jesus and his disciples were traveling and came to a certain town where a woman named Martha opens her home. She feels that her and her sister need to do for the Lord.  She complains to Jesus that her sister isn't doing her share.  And Jesus says so tenderly to her "Martha, Martha you are worried and upset about much serving, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen that good part, and it will not be taken from her."  Ok, get ready because this is the best part!  Look deeper at those words! Martha was cumbered about much serving - vs. 40 - cumbered means to drag all around, to be distracted with cares.  The word much- means often, many times.  The word serving - means ministry, relief, as a servant attends, to aid; particularly this word was used as service to the Teacher - Christ.

Then He said "one thing is needed" - well what is it?  This is the answer I was looking for and I thought hard with bated breath!  That word needed is also translated as useful, ought to be, or needs to be furnished, one's business.  Now get this its not busy-ness it's business.  As in working for an employer. When you commit yourself to work for someone you commit to making their business your business.  You have a responsibility to them.  You take that job seriously because you owe them as an employer.   I began to cry at this point as that feeling of owing begins to dawn on me and as I saw how Christ responds to it.  Then Christ said to her "Martha, there is only one thing that you owe me.  Mary has chosen that good part." (remember Martha was complaining that Mary wasn't doing her share of the work?)  That word "part"  means portion or share!  He said that Mary had chosen her share and it would not be taken from her. What was it that she was doing?  Sitting at his feet while Martha had been running about.  Being in His presence while Martha had left the room.  Listening to Him while Martha had been listening to herself.  Having eyes fixed on Him while Martha had her eyes on tasks to be done.  Folding her hands rather than Martha who sought to keep her hands busy.  Giving Him focus rather than Martha who'd been cumbered, distracted, and running herself into the ground.  

      I see myself in Martha.  I get cumbered and worried about doing everything perfectly and get miserably depressed when it is not.  I get down on myself about my failures which makes me upset and negative about everything!  Then because I lack joy I get down on myself about being a bad Christian too!  But I don't have the time for self pity and a movie with chocolates - because there are dishes and laundry that need done and a land mine of toys between me and the TV.   If you get this way too, cheer up because this passage teaches us that there is one thing that is needed. Just one thing that we are responsible to do for Christ.  One thing out of all the others that really needs done each and every day.  One obligation that is our business to him as our Master and Teacher -  being in His presence, listening to His words, focusing our eyes on His face.  That's it!!! That's the answer!

       It's not just business or busy-ness; it's relationship!  Jesus' only expectation of us is relationship.  Isn't that so freeing!  I just bawled and bawled when it hit me because it gave me relief, it gave me motivation, it gave me hope, it gave me a tender feeling to see how God had shown Himself to little ol' me.   A simple girl and stay-at-home mom.  He spoke to my heart and chose to show me something about Himself.  He met me right where I was at - just like He did to Martha!  How blessed we are to have a God who cares so much about us and is willing to reach out to us and show us clearly the way we need to go.  He is so wonderful and gracious and tender and patient and kind!  I just love Him and am so grateful for Him in my life!  

       There are other passages that have helped me with the challenges of motherhood and the mundane day to day life - so stay tuned and I will be working on sharing those soon!!! Thanks for reading - God Bless You!